the-shit · jordanpartridge · Aug 19, 2026 · Aug 19, 2026
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
@@ -6,8 +6,8 @@ SDK: **[laravel/ai](https://laravel.com/docs/ai-sdk)** (`BaseAgent` + tools). We
 
 ```
 GET  /health
-POST /api/ask                  Bearer KIT_PEER_TOKEN  {"message":"..."}
-POST /api/assign               Bearer KIT_PEER_TOKEN  {"issue":"...","chair":"kit","brief":"..."}
+POST /api/ask                  Bearer KIT_PEER_TOKEN  {"message":"..."}  → Kit LLM (mouth)
+POST /api/assign               Bearer KIT_PEER_TOKEN  {issue?,chair?,brief?,kind?}  → board + queue, **no LLM**
 POST /api/webhooks/mattermost  token=KIT_WEBHOOK_TOKEN  → queues ReplyOnMattermost
 php artisan queue:work --queue=kit
 php artisan kit:ask "what's in the catalog?"

diff --git a/app/Http/Controllers/AssignController.php b/app/Http/Controllers/AssignController.php
@@ -3,13 +3,19 @@
 namespace App\Http\Controllers;
 
 use App\Factory\Board;
-use App\Mattermost\Client;
+use App\Jobs\DispatchKitWork;
 use Illuminate\Http\JsonResponse;
 use Illuminate\Http\Request;
 
+/**
+ * Asgard / Lexi factory door. No LLM. Enqueue + board row.
+ *
+ * POST /api/assign  Bearer KIT_PEER_TOKEN
+ * { issue?, chair?, brief?, kind? }
+ */
 class AssignController extends Controller
 {
-    public function __invoke(Request $request, Board $board, Client $mattermost): JsonResponse
+    public function __invoke(Request $request, Board $board): JsonResponse
     {
         $expected = (string) config('kit.peer_token');
         $got = (string) $request->bearerToken();
@@ -18,71 +24,84 @@ public function __invoke(Request $request, Board $board, Client $mattermost): Js
         }
 
         $issue = trim((string) $request->input('issue', ''));
-        if ($issue === '') {
-            return response()->json(['error' => 'issue required'], 422);
-        }
-
+        $brief = trim((string) $request->input('brief', ''));
+        $kind = strtolower(trim((string) $request->input('kind', '')));
         $chair = strtolower(trim((string) $request->input('chair', 'kit')));
-        if (! in_array($chair, ['kit', 'feel', 'bench'], true)) {
+
+        if (! in_array($chair, ['kit', 'bench', 'feel'], true)) {
             $chair = 'kit';
         }
 
-        $number = $this->issueNumber($issue);
-        $id = $this->boardId($issue, $number, (string) $request->input('brief', ''));
-        $brief = trim((string) $request->input('brief', ''));
+        $issueNumber = $this->issueNumber($issue);
+        if ($issue === '' && $brief === '' && $kind === '') {
+            return response()->json(['error' => 'issue, brief, or kind required'], 422);
+        }
 
-        $item = $board->upsert($id, [
-            'state' => 'queued',
+        $boardId = $this->boardId($issueNumber, $kind, $brief, $issue);
+        $state = $kind !== '' ? $kind : 'queued';
+        $note = $brief !== '' ? $brief : ($issue !== '' ? $issue : $kind);
+
+        $fields = [
+            'state' => $state,
             'lifecycle' => 'queued',
             'owner' => $chair,
-            'issue' => $number,
-            'hops' => 0,
-            'note' => $brief !== '' ? $brief : 'assigned '.$issue,
-        ]);
+            'note' => $note,
+        ];
+        if ($issueNumber !== null) {
+            $fields['issue'] = $issueNumber;
+        }
 
-        $this->hallwayAck($mattermost, $id, $issue, $chair);
+        $item = $board->upsert($boardId, $fields);
+
+        DispatchKitWork::dispatch(
+            boardId: $boardId,
+            chair: $chair,
+            brief: $note,
+            issue: $issue,
+            kind: $kind,
+        );
 
         return response()->json([
             'ok' => true,
-            'board_id' => $id,
+            'board_id' => $boardId,
+            'chair' => $chair,
             'item' => $item,
-        ]);
+        ], 202);
     }
 
-    private function issueNumber(string $issue): int
+    private function issueNumber(string $issue): ?int
     {
+        if ($issue === '') {
+            return null;
+        }
         if (preg_match('/#(\d+)/', $issue, $m) === 1) {
             return (int) $m[1];
         }
         if (preg_match('/\/issues\/(\d+)/', $issue, $m) === 1) {
             return (int) $m[1];
         }
+        if (ctype_digit($issue)) {
+            return (int) $issue;
+        }
 
-        return (int) $issue;
+        return null;
     }
 
-    private function boardId(string $issue, int $number, string $brief): string
+    private function boardId(?int $issueNumber, string $kind, string $brief, string $issue): string
     {
-        $hay = strtolower($issue.' '.$brief);
+        $hay = strtolower($issue.' '.$brief.' '.$kind);
         foreach (['rider', 'hero-ebike', 'ranch-7620'] as $catalog) {
             if (str_contains($hay, $catalog)) {
                 return $catalog;
             }
         }
-
-        return $number > 0 ? 'issue-'.$number : 'assign';
-    }
-
-    private function hallwayAck(Client $mattermost, string $id, string $issue, string $chair): void
-    {
-        $hallway = (string) config('kit.mattermost.hallway_id');
-        $dm = (string) config('kit.mattermost.dm_id');
-        if ($hallway === '' || $hallway === $dm) {
-            return;
+        if ($issueNumber !== null) {
+            return 'issue-'.$issueNumber;
+        }
+        if ($kind !== '') {
+            return $kind;
         }
 
-        $short = $number = $this->issueNumber($issue);
-        $ref = $short > 0 ? '#'.$short : $issue;
-        $mattermost->post($hallway, 'queued '.$id.' ← '.$ref.' ('.$chair.')');
+        return 'assign-'.substr(sha1($brief), 0, 8);
     }
 }
diff --git a/app/Jobs/DispatchKitWork.php b/app/Jobs/DispatchKitWork.php
@@ -0,0 +1,49 @@
+<?php
+
+namespace App\Jobs;
+
+use App\Mattermost\Client;
+use Illuminate\Contracts\Queue\ShouldQueue;
+use Illuminate\Foundation\Queue\Queueable;
+
+/**
+ * Async factory hop after /api/assign. No LLM.
+ */
+class DispatchKitWork implements ShouldQueue
+{
+    use Queueable;
+
+    public function __construct(
+        public readonly string $boardId,
+        public readonly string $chair,
+        public readonly string $brief,
+        public readonly string $issue,
+        public readonly string $kind,
+    ) {
+        $this->onQueue('kit');
+    }
+
+    public function handle(Client $mm): void
+    {
+        $hallway = (string) config('kit.mattermost.hallway_id');
+        $bits = ['_asgard assign_'];
+        $bits[] = 'board=`'.$this->boardId.'`';
+        $bits[] = 'chair='.$this->chair;
+        if ($this->kind !== '') {
+            $bits[] = 'kind='.$this->kind;
+        }
+        if ($this->issue !== '') {
+            $bits[] = $this->issue;
+        }
+        if ($this->brief !== '') {
+            $bits[] = $this->brief;
+        }
+
+        $dm = (string) config('kit.mattermost.dm_id');
+        if ($hallway === '' || $hallway === $dm) {
+            return;
+        }
+
+        $mm->post($hallway, implode(' · ', $bits));
+    }
+}
diff --git a/tests/Feature/AssignTest.php b/tests/Feature/AssignTest.php
@@ -1,13 +1,18 @@
 <?php
 
 use App\Factory\Board;
+use App\Jobs\DispatchKitWork;
 use App\Mattermost\Client;
+use Illuminate\Support\Facades\Http;
+use Illuminate\Support\Facades\Queue;
 
 beforeEach(function () {
-    $path = storage_path('framework/testing/board-'.uniqid('', true).'.json');
+    $path = storage_path('framework/testing/board-assign-'.uniqid('', true).'.json');
     config([
         'kit.board_path' => $path,
         'kit.peer_token' => 'test-peer',
+        'kit.mattermost.url' => 'http://mm.test',
+        'kit.mattermost.token' => 'mm-tok',
         'kit.mattermost.hallway_id' => 'hall-1',
         'kit.mattermost.dm_id' => 'dm-1',
     ]);
@@ -18,49 +23,73 @@
     @unlink($this->boardPath);
 });
 
-test('assign refuses a bad bearer', function () {
-    $this->postJson('/api/assign', ['issue' => 'https://github.com/the-shit/bikes-v2/issues/12'])
-        ->assertUnauthorized();
+it('rejects assign without bearer', function () {
+    $this->postJson('/api/assign', ['brief' => 'make a flyer'])->assertUnauthorized();
 });
 
-test('assign requires an issue', function () {
+it('rejects empty assign', function () {
     $this->withToken('test-peer')
-        ->postJson('/api/assign', ['brief' => 'no issue'])
+        ->postJson('/api/assign', [])
         ->assertStatus(422);
 });
 
-test('assign queues a board row and does not speak as the mouth', function () {
-    $mm = Mockery::mock(Client::class);
-    $mm->shouldReceive('post')->once()->with('hall-1', 'queued rider ← #12 (kit)');
-    $this->app->instance(Client::class, $mm);
+it('queues work and writes a board row without starting the Kit LLM', function () {
+    Queue::fake();
 
     $this->withToken('test-peer')
         ->postJson('/api/assign', [
             'issue' => 'https://github.com/the-shit/bikes-v2/issues/12',
             'chair' => 'kit',
             'brief' => 'rider stills',
         ])
-        ->assertOk()
+        ->assertStatus(202)
         ->assertJsonPath('ok', true)
         ->assertJsonPath('board_id', 'rider');
 
+    Queue::assertPushed(DispatchKitWork::class, function (DispatchKitWork $job): bool {
+        return $job->boardId === 'rider' && $job->chair === 'kit';
+    });
+
     $row = collect(app(Board::class)->read()['items'])->firstWhere('id', 'rider');
     expect($row['lifecycle'])->toBe('queued')
         ->and($row['owner'])->toBe('kit')
         ->and($row['issue'])->toBe(12);
 });
 
-test('assign skips mattermost when hallway is the Jordan DM', function () {
-    config(['kit.mattermost.hallway_id' => 'dm-1']);
-    $mm = Mockery::mock(Client::class);
-    $mm->shouldReceive('post')->never();
-    $this->app->instance(Client::class, $mm);
+it('accepts make_image without a github issue', function () {
+    Queue::fake();
 
     $this->withToken('test-peer')
         ->postJson('/api/assign', [
-            'issue' => 'https://github.com/the-shit/kit/issues/5',
+            'kind' => 'make_image',
             'chair' => 'kit',
+            'brief' => 'Lexi yoga still',
         ])
-        ->assertOk()
-        ->assertJsonPath('board_id', 'issue-5');
+        ->assertStatus(202)
+        ->assertJsonPath('board_id', 'make_image');
+});
+
+it('posts the hallway receipt when the job runs', function () {
+    Http::fake([
+        'http://mm.test/api/v4/posts' => Http::response(['id' => 'p1'], 201),
+    ]);
+
+    (new DispatchKitWork('issue-12', 'kit', 'rider stills', 'https://github.com/the-shit/bikes-v2/issues/12', ''))
+        ->handle(app(Client::class));
+
+    Http::assertSent(function ($req): bool {
+        return $req->url() === 'http://mm.test/api/v4/posts'
+            && str_contains((string) $req['message'], 'issue-12')
+            && str_contains((string) $req['message'], '_asgard assign_');
+    });
+});
+
+it('skips mattermost when hallway is the Jordan DM', function () {
+    config(['kit.mattermost.hallway_id' => 'dm-1']);
+    Http::fake();
+
+    (new DispatchKitWork('issue-5', 'kit', 'x', 'https://github.com/the-shit/kit/issues/5', ''))
+        ->handle(app(Client::class));
+
+    Http::assertNothingSent();
 });